If you think retention principles only apply to businesses...

You're missing the point.

Retention principles apply to all aspects of your life.

As long as human relationships are involved...

You can apply the principles.

Retention is retention.

It applies to your clients, team members, partners, and even family.

I'll share my thoughts about what happened during the Lunar New Year.

You'll discover the real reason more people are avoiding the visitations.

The Lunar New Year is supposed to be a joyous occasion.

Traditionally, it's when family members gather...

Including the extended family.

This means...

People who haven't seen each other for the past year (or more) are now under one roof.

Under such circumstances...

2 things can happen.

Either:

1) You're pleased to meet "long-lost relatives" and have endless things to catch up on.

Or

2) Moments filled with awkward silence. Because you don't even know what to talk to them about.

Guess which one describes my experience?

In all transparency, I've skipped the visitations since the pandemic started.

And this year, I've heard people leaving the country for vacation.

Or they chose to immerse themselves in work.

Just to avoid the Lunar New Year gatherings.

Escaping the occasion seems to be becoming more mainstream.

Human relationships follow the same patterns as client relationships.

People stay when the experience feels safe and meaningful.

After deep reflection,

I've concluded:

People chose to escape because the visiting experience no longer felt safe, meaningful, or enjoyable.

And the reason is...

Retention principles have been violated.

Let's look at what usually happens during the visits.

I'll share what I've experienced and heard from others over the years.

Look closely, and you'll see...

Each uncomfortable moment reflects a breakdown in one of the three retention layers.

a) Nosy relatives probe into people’s personal lives. Alignment breaks. Curiosity replaces connection.

b) Elders pressure the young ones to get married and have kids. Execution breaks. Pressure replaces understanding. It dismisses their personal choices.

c) Certain relatives are judgmental about others’ lives or career choices. Meaning breaks. Once a person doesn't feel respected, there's no meaning in communicating. It leads to nowhere.

When all 3 retention layers break, people disengage quietly.

They don't stay where they feel unsafe.

Even in families.

What happens if we apply retention principles during the Lunar New Year visits?

Respect one another.

Empathize and don't judge people's life choices.

Ask for permission before probing.

People don't open up unless they already trust you.

Make each other seen, heard, and valued.

That will make visiting a more pleasant experience.

People naturally stay when they feel good.

Retention is all about managing expectations and creating awesome experiences.

Like I said at the beginning...

Retention applies to all aspects of human relationships.

What happens in families is a mirror of what happens within teams,

between partnerships, and with clients.

Once you understand and master retention...

It's easier to build trust, build rapport, and establish genuine relationships.

Imagine how your quality of life improves.

But if one continues to ignore retention principles...

Even relationships between friends and family may turn sour unnecessarily.

Then, one may feel frustrated and misunderstood.

A little more empathy for others...

A little more respect...
And a little less judgment goes a long way.

Trust + Meaning = Retention.

- Herek